Warning Labels
Aug. 18th, 2004 12:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
catastrophyAs if I didn't already think that people are stupid... man, these warning labels..
On a compact disc player:
"Do no use the Ultradisc 2000 as a projectile in a catapult."
(So, that means that everything's kosher if we use a trebuchet, right?)
On a vacuumcleaner:
"Do not use to pick up anything currently burning."
On a bottle of hair coloring:
"Do not use as an ice cream topping."
(WTF?)
On a pair of shinguards:
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."
(Nonsense! My shin guards make me INVINCIBLE! ...And give me +3 to CON...)
On a portable stroller:
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage."
(I'm sorry, but if you're so much of a moron to need a label to tell you that.... you deserve to accidently remove your own genes from the genepool)
On a propane blowtorch:
"Never use while sleeping."
(...)
In a microwave oven manual:
"Do not use for drying pets."
(*jaw agape in utter horror* Pets are friends, not food!!!)
On a laser pointer:
"Do not look into laser with remaining eye."
(Engrish.... or stupidity?)
And, always a favorite
On a Batman costume:
"Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly."
On a compact disc player:
"Do no use the Ultradisc 2000 as a projectile in a catapult."
(So, that means that everything's kosher if we use a trebuchet, right?)
On a vacuumcleaner:
"Do not use to pick up anything currently burning."
On a bottle of hair coloring:
"Do not use as an ice cream topping."
(WTF?)
On a pair of shinguards:
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."
(Nonsense! My shin guards make me INVINCIBLE! ...And give me +3 to CON...)
On a portable stroller:
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage."
(I'm sorry, but if you're so much of a moron to need a label to tell you that.... you deserve to accidently remove your own genes from the genepool)
On a propane blowtorch:
"Never use while sleeping."
(...)
In a microwave oven manual:
"Do not use for drying pets."
(*jaw agape in utter horror* Pets are friends, not food!!!)
On a laser pointer:
"Do not look into laser with remaining eye."
(Engrish.... or stupidity?)
And, always a favorite
On a Batman costume:
"Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly."
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-18 11:16 am (UTC)Damn untrustworthy forward spam.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-18 11:19 am (UTC)(Nonsense! My shin guards make me INVINCIBLE! ...And give me +3 to CON...)
ROFL.
10 points awarded to Cat. Ya know, if you hit a million ( closing in ) You are automatically upgraded to demi-god status.
One of my favorites was on an electrical saw:
Do not try to stop blade with hands or genitals.
Also on a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor and outdoor use only. ( As opposed to what? )
no subject
Date: 2004-08-18 02:52 pm (UTC)I thought that myself...
Date: 2004-08-18 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-18 06:37 pm (UTC)