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Oh, Becca, sweetheart...
Aug. 5th, 2004 02:58 amI'm sorry that everything has to be so messy.....
when something has become so much a part of your life, of your everyday...... I wish there was just an easy way to pull it off, pull it out and throw it out...
but it's just not that simple. it's not like pulling off a piece of jewelry and putting it away, aside, or selling it...
I still have the necklace that Jan gave me.... I stopped wearing it long ago... but I just never knew what to do with it. I began to forget about it... even know, I only remember it every now and again...
maybe I should give it to Good Will or something...
anyway
there's a huge, long statue... more of a basque... however you spell it...
a raised mural... in Hyde Park... it used to be a fountain..
but it's drained now. the water's been gone for years and years. there are only pebbles and bottle caps strewn in the resevoir, with weeds oozing up out of the grout between the slabs of concrete.
I wish I had a picture... I think it's called 'The March of Time' or something...
it has rows and rows and rows of ppl... women, men, children... old men close to death, babies... warriors, or a king, on horseback..
While, during... towards the end of my mental drowning... before I broke up with Jan...
Caleb took me out to look at that fountain, and talk.....
I'm not even sure of the time frame anymore.. it was when I still fit the majority of the symptoms that they had listed on the papers on the bathroom stalls for clinical depression...
it was just starting to get cold enough at night to want a jacket if you were out very late...
Just something about that fountain. The way that the passage of time, which the piece was all about, the way that it effected the people as you trained your eye across it... some it distressed, there were groups of women who look like they were weeping and wailing... some had veils I think...
some men where carring one man... a mother leading a small child, hiding in her skirts...
was there also a funeral procession?
some man at the front in the corner... with the strangest expression.. he might have been holding a mask.. I'm not sure, it's been so long since I've seen it.
I think that that man on the corner, was a representation of the artist himself...
I can't even remember the name.......
maybe Isaac knows?
He's good for the random shit and interesting blips like that. ^^
it's the big wall of rock, maybe limestone... grainy, kinda rough to the touch, gray or maybe beige... it's out west a bit of ellis, and it's at least as far south as the midway palaisace...
deja vu.
I swear I've talked about this place to Isaac before.
getting a lot of the deja vu lately. especially at work.
Sleep. I need sleep... here it is 3 a.m. again, and I have to be awake at work tomorrow.... I'm desperately trying (I accidently wrote 'tiring' just now...) not to drink any more caffeine than I need to, than I have too...
but I just can't be drowsy at work... I have to be alert...
someone remind me why I don't have a desk job?
then it hits me......
I freakin' hate office work.....
"Friends come and friends go
As I go round and round in circles
Love someone change your mind
Decide he was a swine
As you go round and round in circles
He who knows does not speak
He who speaks does not know
And I go round in circles
Dislike someone and will not bend
Later they may become your best friend
As life it goes around in circles
He who knows does not speak
He who speaks does not know
And I know that I go round in circles
Soul takes on a body with each birth we make our date
With life and death along the road the soul reincarnates
The show goes round and round in circles
When loss and gain and up and down
Becomes the same, then we stop going round in circles
Round and round in circles"
Reminds me of this one song about running around in circles... the one with the amv that had barney and fred running around in their house, and they kept seeing all the furniture and stuff repeat, and more and more cartoon characters would end up following them as they ran...
when something has become so much a part of your life, of your everyday...... I wish there was just an easy way to pull it off, pull it out and throw it out...
but it's just not that simple. it's not like pulling off a piece of jewelry and putting it away, aside, or selling it...
I still have the necklace that Jan gave me.... I stopped wearing it long ago... but I just never knew what to do with it. I began to forget about it... even know, I only remember it every now and again...
maybe I should give it to Good Will or something...
anyway
there's a huge, long statue... more of a basque... however you spell it...
a raised mural... in Hyde Park... it used to be a fountain..
but it's drained now. the water's been gone for years and years. there are only pebbles and bottle caps strewn in the resevoir, with weeds oozing up out of the grout between the slabs of concrete.
I wish I had a picture... I think it's called 'The March of Time' or something...
it has rows and rows and rows of ppl... women, men, children... old men close to death, babies... warriors, or a king, on horseback..
While, during... towards the end of my mental drowning... before I broke up with Jan...
Caleb took me out to look at that fountain, and talk.....
I'm not even sure of the time frame anymore.. it was when I still fit the majority of the symptoms that they had listed on the papers on the bathroom stalls for clinical depression...
it was just starting to get cold enough at night to want a jacket if you were out very late...
Just something about that fountain. The way that the passage of time, which the piece was all about, the way that it effected the people as you trained your eye across it... some it distressed, there were groups of women who look like they were weeping and wailing... some had veils I think...
some men where carring one man... a mother leading a small child, hiding in her skirts...
was there also a funeral procession?
some man at the front in the corner... with the strangest expression.. he might have been holding a mask.. I'm not sure, it's been so long since I've seen it.
I think that that man on the corner, was a representation of the artist himself...
I can't even remember the name.......
maybe Isaac knows?
He's good for the random shit and interesting blips like that. ^^
it's the big wall of rock, maybe limestone... grainy, kinda rough to the touch, gray or maybe beige... it's out west a bit of ellis, and it's at least as far south as the midway palaisace...
deja vu.
I swear I've talked about this place to Isaac before.
getting a lot of the deja vu lately. especially at work.
Sleep. I need sleep... here it is 3 a.m. again, and I have to be awake at work tomorrow.... I'm desperately trying (I accidently wrote 'tiring' just now...) not to drink any more caffeine than I need to, than I have too...
but I just can't be drowsy at work... I have to be alert...
someone remind me why I don't have a desk job?
then it hits me......
I freakin' hate office work.....
"Friends come and friends go
As I go round and round in circles
Love someone change your mind
Decide he was a swine
As you go round and round in circles
He who knows does not speak
He who speaks does not know
And I go round in circles
Dislike someone and will not bend
Later they may become your best friend
As life it goes around in circles
He who knows does not speak
He who speaks does not know
And I know that I go round in circles
Soul takes on a body with each birth we make our date
With life and death along the road the soul reincarnates
The show goes round and round in circles
When loss and gain and up and down
Becomes the same, then we stop going round in circles
Round and round in circles"
Reminds me of this one song about running around in circles... the one with the amv that had barney and fred running around in their house, and they kept seeing all the furniture and stuff repeat, and more and more cartoon characters would end up following them as they ran...
